How to Value Yourself and Become a Valuable Person.

Photo by Samson Katt

We are naturally drawn to those with self-confidence – that comes hand in hand with valuing ourselves.

We need to grow beyond our own embedded ways of thinking, of speaking to people, of assumed ideas to become mature enough to be a truly valuable person to ourselves and to others. It has never been more important than in these unusual times.

Yes, travel that isn’t confined to the 5 Star Hotels and tourist environs can be very instructional and eye-opening. An interesting book about that is “Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World” by Rita Golden Gelman. Yet much more of value, in my opinion, is what’s right in front of us every day.

Become friends, actual friends, with persons both much younger and older than you, persons that look and speak differently than you do – that eat different foods. In particular, the wisdom of elders and children is astonishing. Talk with them, not at them, better still…just listen. Ask questions and just listen. Eat their foods, if you are lucky enough to have the chance – even better if they choose to share their beliefs about spirituality and the world through their eyes. People from a different regions of our own country, their experiences and thoughts can be as interesting and enlightening as someone who was born in a tent or villa.

Soften your words and sharpen your ears lest something really important might slip by when you are preparing what you want to say next. This is how to become valuable, to be open, to be a learner, a student of new and different ideas that you never might have been exposed to. To be kind. To think before reacting and take two or three breaths first.

Should these ideas change you and your opinions? Not necessarily. But being truly open and curious can change everything.

Value. Value added – it’s something we choose. It’s a gift we gift ourselves.

Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.

Stay safe,
Sharon

Sharon Valentino, MA, ChT, CA LMFT, Psychotherapist, Behavioral Health
Calif. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, MFC51746
Masters Level Registered Addiction Specialist (MRAS) & Level IV Certified Addiction Treatment Counselor (CATC IV), Masters Counseling Psychology
Addressing: Stress, Anxiety, Relationships, Depression, PTSD, Trauma, Pain, Memory Issues, Addiction, Adult Children of Alcoholics/Substance/Anger Abusers (ACA’s), Tech Execs & Engineers, Creatives & Designers – Private Online Therapy (Telemedicine) is available via HIPPA provider’s security.
Ph: 415.215.5363, e: sv@valentinotherapy.com, web: www.valentinotherapy.com
Social Media: Google My Business – Valentino Therapy
Pinterest: Ask This Therapist & Valentino Therapy
Instagram: Ask This Therapist & Sharon,Valentino.MFT
Facebook: Valentino Therapy, Parenting With Help, and Ask This Therapist
Blogs at WordPress: Valentino Therapy & Sober Coach-Addiction Hurts & Ask This Therapist
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Make Self-Care A Priority In Tough Times

Valentino Therapy, Ask This Therapist, Sober Coach are pleased to welcome guest editor Cheryl Conklin of Wellness Central who wrote this article. You can see more at http://www.wellnesscentral.info

As the pandemic wears on, most people are ready for a change of pace, moving from yoga pants and stretchy jeans to wanting to look and feel their best. The way you look on the outside can have a measurable impact on how you feel on the inside. Even if you’re not being seen by others, paying attention to your appearance can give you a nice little boost of self-esteem that can do wonders for your mental health. Talking with a licensed therapist through Valentino Therapy can also help you devise coping techniques that are specific to your unique life circumstances.

Get Dressed

If you’re working remotely or stuck at home, it can be easy for your pajamas to turn into your outfit for the day. For your own mental wellness, it’s important to differentiate not only the days of the week but the hours of the day by having some sort of normal routine. According to VeryWell Health, it’s wise to maintain a daily schedule that includes set sleeping and waking times. Once you’re up, get dressed, even if you’re just in casual clothes. Shaving, doing your hair, and even putting on makeup can give you a brighter outlook. If you’re going out and about, take it up a notch and add some jewelry or aftershave just to create a sense of normalcy in your life.

Remember Personal Care

Feeling good about yourself isn’t just reflected in the way you dress. Maintaining skincare regimens and personal grooming practices are also important. Do your nails or try out that new hairstyle you’ve been considering. Find flattering exercise clothes and wear them out on a hiking path or trail to ensure you’re staying physically active — which, according to Psychology Today, can also help you stay motivated and upbeat. We all know how easy it is to feel down in the pandemic dumps, so tending to personal care can have a positive impact on your outlook and help stave off depression.

You Are What You Eat

Part of maintaining a healthy personal care routine includes not only physical fitness but also eating healthy foods. The pandemic has put all of us in a place where we’re probably eating greater volumes of poor quality snack foods than we typically do. A poor diet can lead to you feeling fatigued and even depressed — not to mention, bad for overall health. Depression-fighting foods are easy to come by and include dark berries, fatty fish, like salmon, yogurt, and lean meats like chicken. Dark leafy vegetables and fruits should replace whatever junk food you have in your cupboard. Try out new recipes so you feel like you’re pampering yourself with gourmet meals.

Mind Your Mental Health

Don’t let pandemic-related sadness and anxiety keep you down. In addition to taking good care of your body and your outward appearance, take time for yourself to mentally regroup. This might include meditating, yoga, or relaxation techniques that allow you to be centered, present, and in the moment. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask. Reach out to Valentino Therapy and be upfront about your struggles, especially if you feel depressed. This is a huge step in the right direction to help you rebound and move forward.

Design Your Environment

There’s no denying that we’re all spending a lot more time indoors than we ever have before. Make sure that your living space is a bright, vibrant, and comforting space to be. Take on household projects you might not have had time for before, open your windows to get rid of bad energy, and let in the fresh air. Open blinds to natural light and cultivate your green thumb by adding live plants to your decor. Having a tidy and organized environment can help relieve tension and family discord and make you feel more at peace, internally as well as externally.

The pandemic has changed much about the way we all live our lives on a daily basis, but mind-body-soul personal care is a critical element of getting through this unusual and challenging time. If you’re struggling, don’t wait to ask for help. Schedule an appointment with Valentino Therapy today. (415) 215-5363.

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INTENSIVE RECOVERY WORKSHOP

INTENSIVE RECOVERY WORKSHOP

Starting now: New, Private, Very Small, Intensive Therapy Workshop Starting on once a week during the evening when 4 are recommitted committed after the current COVID “Stay in Place” is lifted.

Personal attention to each person and individual needs.
Up to 3-4 compatible participants, due to very limited space for COVID safety.
$1,800 for 8 weeks meeting once a week for 2.5 hours
Group Therapy with individual attention due to the small size.

Intensive Recovery Workshop will include therapy, sharing, support, CBT, DBT, some art therapy, meditation theory & practice, and deep work. This program is for intensive recovery, relapse prevention or just for attainment of goals and better health – and for those who won’t/can’t attend an IOP.

Who doesn’t have something they want & need to change to improve the quality of their lives? Some folks are in recovery, others want to eat, drink, live in much healthier ways, some have detrimental habits of behavior or abuse substances occasionally or continually, some don’t take critical care of their health or eliminate toxic relationships. We all can use some support. Some people prefer a private approach and their own recovery plan in lieu of an IOP program – and a safe place to talk and grow.

Everyone agrees to maintain at minimum 6+ ft. distance and wear masks as needed or requested. There will be a no touch forehead thermometer check prior to the start of each session. If a person has elevated temperature s/he would be encouraged to leave and obtain further testing ASAP. Wearing gloves is encouraged for those who would prefer to or for using the restrooms. 

Optional, but encouraged to get COVID tested first – which may change due to COVID.

VALENTINO THERAPY
3030 BRIDGEWAY, SUITE 108, SAUSALITO, CA
SHARON VALENTINO, LMFT, sv@valentinotherapy.com, 415.215.5363
Website: https://www.intensiverecoverywork.com
https://www.valentinotherapy.com

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Today is Resolutions Day

Whats So Bad About Resolutions?

What’s so bad about New Year’s Resolutions, or making new ones at any time of the year, when they can fill us with hope and determination? 
Well…perhaps living in the future, instead of the present.
What’s so bad about not having goals? You have nothing concrete to aim for that encourages you to make healthier moves and choices and you miss the joy of achieving them.
OK, what’s so bad about Resolutions, really? Like much of life…nothing much. Almost anything viewed as a positive can also have a negative side or use. I often write that if you have no goals, how can you achieve them?  And yet something clinicians see a lot of problems with clients either living in the past or living in the future. That’s certainly true in Marin County and in Sausalito this winter season.
Actually, our brains work in ways that encourage goal making because making goals and attaining them sets us apart from most other creatures. Goals actually do help in some ways not to waste valuable time and energy running about without an aim or end result in mind. Neuroscience indicates that we need “pursuit” to activate certain pleasure centers. Goals can define us by what we want and to actually achieve them gives pleasure but so does the pursuit itself. Goals and resolutions are not the same things.
However, resolutions are living in the future to some extent. We all resolve at various times to change our body, lose weight, make more money, read or relax more, save more money, be a better parent or friend, get a degree, eat organic or improve our love life and much more. And yet, we make ourselves feel much worse or a failure when goals are unmet.
Isn’t the primary purpose of this life’s experience to live it? Relish it? It seems wise to enjoy it, to try out as much as possible, see as much as you can, do all that is fun and appealing, love as much as is reasonably healthy, and to help others. That means live now – today. Tomorrow may never come. What if it didn’t? What should today be like then?
I think it is a reasonable approach to life to be mindful and really enjoy what you are doing, feeling, eating, etc.
If that sounds a little like living to “smell the roses”, but it may greatly enhance your life.
Ask yourself every single morning, “What do I want my life to look like today?” “What could I reasonably make happen today?” “What is the one thing that I can do that will give me the greatest joy today?”  If you do this regularly, almost everything in your life will begin to change for the better.
If the details and requirements of achieving your goals take up too much of your thought, time and energy, they may be keeping you from enjoying what is happening right now that you should be taking pleasure in.
Some resolutions may include leaving a relationship. Many of my friends and clients say their lives would be better “if he would…” or “if she would stop…” and they keep continue waiting for something to change. It may not. They could stop waiting for a future that may never turn out as they envision it and they could start living their own lives just one day at a time in ways that are meaningful and full of joy.
I’ve seen a lot of partners actually turn around unwanted behaviors when my clients took this new approach of deciding, “What do I want to enjoy just for today and what can I reasonably make happen?” This means that you are not trying to control or change anyone or make anyone join you. You are not looking for end goals or resolutions or what you want tomorrow or by next New Year’s. What if you just live today with joy? People who do so tend to attract people who find it compelling to be around them and they tend to get what they want out of life with this healthier approach.
If the methods you have been using to achieve your resolutions (needs and desires) have not gotten you what you wanted, then I’m going out on a limb here and say they are probably self-defeating. Try living by pleasing yourself and helping others just for today. I did not say pleasing others today. I said helping others today, as there is often a big difference. Start right now by asking yourself what you’d really like to see happen today. If what you’ve been doing has not brought you happiness and peace of mind, try it. What have you got to lose? You lose yourself when you live too much for goals and too much for others or even too much of your life waiting for others to change and give you what you think you want…always in the future.
However, some readers will insist on setting goals or resolutions anyway because they’ve found immense satisfaction in achieving them year after year. Congratulations, as you are in the minority of Americans. OK. What works?
Do not over-plan, over-reach, over-commit or be too strict with yourself. Write down your goals and review them daily. Have visual reminders such as a toy replica car on your desk, a small palm if Hawaii is your dream, a photo of you at a smaller size, or whatever, that you see daily.
Work on setting goals, not resolutions, that are positive, not negative (I won’t ever eat sugar. I’ll not go one day without exercising.). Goals need to be positive, worthwhile, attainable, incrementally measurable, reasonable, very specific, broken down into timely parts, easy to adjust if need be. But don’t make excuses – drop the goal or achieve the goal.
If you feel you must make goals to organize yourself and increase self-esteem by meeting them but are having challenges, why not consider monthly or weekly ones instead?
Life is short. Go live it. Only make resolutions if you can be kind to yourself and be flexible.
Most people need support. If it isn’t in easy reach, find an excellent therapist and get on with your happy life.

Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.

Stay safe,
Sharon

Sharon Valentino, MA, ChT, CA LMFT, Psychotherapist, Behavioral Health
Calif. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, MFC51746
Masters Level Registered Addiction Specialist (MRAS) & Level IV Certified Addiction Treatment Counselor (CATC IV), Masters Counseling Psychology
Addressing: Stress, Anxiety, Relationships, Depression, PTSD, Trauma, Pain, Memory Issues, Addiction, Adult Children of Alcoholics/Substance/Anger Abusers (ACA’s), Tech Execs & Engineers, Creatives & Designers – Private Online Therapy (Telemedicine) is available via HIPPA provider’s security.
Ph: 415.215.5363, e: sv@valentinotherapy.com, web: www.valentinotherapy.com
Social Media: Google My Business – Valentino Therapy
Pinterest: Ask This Therapist & Valentino Therapy
Instagram: Ask This Therapist & Sharon,Valentino.MFT
Facebook: Valentino Therapy, Parenting With Help, and Ask This Therapist
Blogs at WordPress: Valentino Therapy & Sober Coach-Addiction Hurts & Ask This Therapist
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INTENSIVE RECOVERY WORKSHOP

Starting now: New, Private, Very Small, Therapy Workshop Starting on once a week during the evening as soon as 3-4 are committed.

Up to 4 compatible participants, due to very limited space for COVID safety, available.

Group Therapy with individual attention due to the small size.

Intensive Recovery Workshop will include therapy, sharing, support, CBT, DBT, some art therapy, meditation theory & practice, and deep work. This program is for intensive recovery, relapse prevention or just for attainment of goals and better health – and for those who won’t attend an IOP.

Who doesn’t have something they want & need to change to improve the quality of their lives? Some folks are in recovery, others want to eat, drink, live in much healthier ways, some have detrimental habits of behavior or abuse substances occasionally, some don’t take critical care of their health or eliminate toxic relationships. We all can use some support. Some people prefer a private approach and their own recovery plan in lieu of an IOP program – and a safe place to talk and grow.

Everyone agrees to maintain a 6+ ft. distance and wear masks as needed or requested. There will be a no touch forehead thermometer check prior to the start of each session. If a person has elevated temperature s/he would be encouraged to leave and obtain further testing ASAP. Wearing gloves is encouraged for those who would prefer to or for using the restrooms. 

Optional, but encouraged to get COVID tested first.

VALENTINO THERAPY

3030 BRIDGEWAY, SUITE 108, SAUSALITO, CA

SHARON VALENTINO, LMFT, sv@valentinotherapy.com, 415.215.5363

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INTENSIVE RECOVERY WORKSHOP

Photo by Startup Stock Photos on Pexels.com

VALENTINO THERAPY

3030 BRIDGEWAY, SUITE 108, SAUSALITO, CA

SHARON VALENTINO, LMFT, sv@valentinotherapy.com, 415.215.5363

INTENSIVE RECOVERY WORKSHOP

Starting now: New, Private, Very Small, Therapy Workshop Starting on Wednesday or Thursday day nights as soon as 3-4 are committed.

Who: Up to 3-4 compatible participants due to very limited space for COVID safety available to those who commit to the program first and tender payment via cash, PayPal, Venmo or a check.

What: Group Therapy with individual attention due to the small size. Intensive Recovery Workshop

will include therapy, sharing, support, CBT, DBT, some art therapy, meditation theory & practice. This program for intensive recovery attention, relapse prevention or just for attainment of goals and better health and for those who won’t attend an IOP.

When: Likely on Wednesday or Thursday nights starting soon. If the latest group starts after 11/15 it will be on Monday night (when the current group concludes).

Where: 3030 Bridgeway, Sausalito Conference Room adjacent to Sharon’s office; possible other locations or outside meetings will be considered

How Long: 6:30 to 9, for an 8 week commitment. There will be a break mid-evening for movement and/or snacks.

How Much: $1,800 for 8 weeks can be paid weekly if desired – but the commitment is for 8 weeks, no exceptions. There are no refunds for missed meetings. Sorry.

Safety: Everyone agrees to maintain at least a 6 ft. distance and wear masks as needed or requested by others. There will be a no touch forehead thermometer check prior to the start of each session to test for increased temperature readings. If a person has elevated temperature s/he would be encouraged to leave and obtain further testing. Wearing gloves is encouraged for those who would prefer to or for using the restrooms. Optional, but encouraged to get COVID tested first.

Why: Who doesn’t have something they want & need to change to improve the quality of their lives? Some folks are in recovery, others want to eat, drink, live in much healthier ways, some have detrimental habits of behavior or abuse substances occasionally, some don’t take critical care of their health or eliminate toxic relationships. We all can use some support. Some people prefer a private approach and their own recovery plan in lieu of an IOP program.

Requirement: No use of alcohol or substances 24 hours prior to session including Adderall, Red Bull Extra or “enhanced” Kombucha, etc. If it appears this has not been followed, expect to be asked to leave until next week. NO EXCEPTIONS. You cannot trigger others.

*Please note: The building will be locked and no one can enter (security cameras) without wearing a mask. Try to come about 5 minutes early so everyone can get in about the same time, otherwise call my cell 415.215.5363 so one of us can come down to the front door and let you in.

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Online Therapy

woman having video call

Photo by Ivan Samkov

Telemedicine/ Online Therapy for Calif. Residents:   All online communications will go through a third party secure website to meet HIPPA and security requirements. I offer Online a la carte or on Retainer. It can be canceled by you or me at any time and I reserve the right to not accept a client for online or continuing online work if it doesn’t seem advisable as online therapy is not for everyone. There are no contracts, minimum terms or upfront fees but payment must be received prior to the commencement of any session so that valuable session time is not wasted. I do not offer Couples Counseling online as I have not found it as effective as in-office. Certain informational documents and an Informed Consent Form (just like in-office therapy) must be completed and returned before the start of any sessions. The below fees do not apply to Legal Cases, which require significant extra work and documentation. It also does not apply to existing in-office clients.

  • Phone: 45-minutes $100. per session, or 30 minutes $75.
  • Video: 45-minute $150. per session
  • Email or text: $75. per week for unlimited messages from you, or $230 per month if paid in full in advance. Please note that I will use up to 50 minutes per week reading and responding to your messages. I generally respond 2 to 4 times per week and take most Saturdays and Sundays off.
  • Retainer, Full Service TeleHealth Plan:  $350 per month for unlimited messaging (email or text) and up to 3 per month 45-minute phone or video sessions. Subject to openings and times available. Payment must be received monthly in advance. This service is for previous patients and clients or by special agreement on a case-by-case basis for others.

Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.

Stay safe,
Sharon

Sharon Valentino, MA, ChT, CA LMFT, Psychotherapist, Behavioral Health
Calif. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, MFC51746
Masters Level Registered Addiction Specialist (MRAS) & Level IV Certified Addiction Treatment Counselor (CATC IV), Masters Counseling Psychology
Addressing: Stress, Anxiety, Relationships, Depression, PTSD, Trauma, Pain, Memory Issues, Addiction, Adult Children of Alcoholics/Substance/Anger Abusers (ACA’s), Tech Execs & Engineers, Creatives & Designers – Private Online Therapy (Telemedicine) is available via HIPPA provider’s security.
Ph: 415.215.5363, e: sv@valentinotherapy.comweb: www.valentinotherapy.com
Social Media: Google My Business – Valentino Therapy
Pinterest: Ask This Therapist & Valentino Therapy
Instagram: Ask This Therapist & Sharon,Valentino.MFT
Facebook: Valentino Therapy, Parenting With Help, and Ask This Therapist
Blogs at WordPress: Valentino Therapy & Sober Coach-Addiction Hurts & Ask This Therapist

 

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COVID ANXIETY vs. PEACEFULNESS

woman holding a poster with anxiety

Photo by cottonbro

COVID ANXIETY vs. PEACEFULNESS

Many people, if not most, are experiencing a lot of anxiety during this very unusual time.
Many are depressed as well. While you can have both anxiety and depression concurrently they come from different directions.
Depression generally comes from looking backwards into the past.
Anxiety nearly always comes from worrying about the future which is not here.
Peace and happiness lie in living in the present.

The PAST is past. The FUTURE has not arrived. Only the PRESENT is here now.
When you live in the present with gratitude everything changes almost instantly.
This is not to say if you have continual worries or past trauma that you shouldn’t work on them with a good therapist.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the Gold Standard for dealing rather quickly with those negative thoughts (worry/anxiety) that circle around in our heads in a negative loop that we are often unaware of – though sometimes we realize we are doing it.
Sometimes we know we are worrying to excess.
Other times we aren’t aware of how pervasive it is.

Thoughts cause emotions that cause feelings that cause actions/words that often don’t serve us well.  A lot of research proves this is the exact sequence in which it happens though most folks think they have an emotion and then they think about it.
You don’t have to let depression and anxiety make this unusual time even worse.

Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.

Stay safe,
Sharon

Sharon Valentino, MA, ChT, CA LMFT, Psychotherapist, Behavioral Health
Calif. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, MFC51746
Masters Level Registered Addiction Specialist (MRAS) & Level IV Certified Addiction Treatment Counselor (CATC IV), Masters Counseling Psychology
Addressing: Stress, Anxiety, Relationships, Depression, PTSD, Trauma, Pain, Memory Issues, Addiction, Adult Children of Alcoholics/Substance/Anger Abusers (ACA’s), Tech Execs & Engineers, Creatives & Designers – Private Online Therapy (Telemedicine) is available via HIPPA provider’s security.
Ph: 415.215.5363, e: sv@valentinotherapy.comweb: www.valentinotherapy.com
Social Media: Google My Business – Valentino Therapy
Pinterest: Ask This Therapist & Valentino Therapy
Instagram: Ask This Therapist & Sharon,Valentino.MFT
Facebook: Valentino Therapy, Parenting With Help, and Ask This Therapist
Blogs at WordPress: Valentino Therapy & Sober Coach-Addiction Hurts & Ask This Therapist
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Seven Tips For Working From Home During the Coronavirus

woman in gray tank top sitting on bed

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

Seven Tips For Working From Home During the Coronavirus

Here are ways to make working from home a little bit more manageable, whatever your circumstances may be right now during the coronavirus pandemic. Below are seven tips for those who have had to make the transition to working from home during quarantine.

           1.Create a workspace

Having a designated workspace helps you focus and be productive. If you do not already have an at-home office, be sure to work at a desk, table or create a specific place you can always work from at home during quarantine. Moving around to various areas is shown to not be as productive.

          2.Stick to your schedule

If your work hours are not set for you, be sure to set your own schedule/work hours. Stay well-rested and not throw off your sleep cycle. Just because you are at home more often does not mean throwing away structure and a schedule or it will affect your health, sleep and happiness.

           3. Get dressed

As tempting as it is to stay in your lounge clothes, this could harm your productivity and motivation. Get ready for the day as if you were leaving for work as usual. This will boost your mental health and make you more productive. You don’t have to super dress up but make an effort so you feel better about yourself and present well if you go out or do Zoom meetings.

          4. Get outside (while social distancing)

If you have the opportunity to step outside for fresh air or go for a walk daily, do it. Going outside can help with stress relief, concentration, and overall mental health after being cooped up inside.

          5. Lunch break

Prepare healthy food that you like in advance so that you can have your lunch break as you usually would at work. This will help you stick to your schedule and keep you feeling good throughout the day.

          6. Set boundaries

Because you will be working from home it’s crucial to set boundaries with friends and family during your work hours. Make sure whoever is at home with you knows when you are working so that you can be distracting free and create a work-like environment. Therefore you can be as attentive as you would be at a normal job. Be creative. Set up a tent outside and make it into a really cool office to work in, or something else equally fun and creative.

          7. Do something fun

Now that you won’t be commuting to work for a bit you have some free time you can use to do something fun. Take advantage of not having a long commute and make it YOUR time. Use this extra time to prepare a proper breakfast, finally start that new hobby, listen to a podcast, practice self-care, or whatever else has been on your to-do list.

Stay safe,
Sharon

Sharon Valentino, MA, ChT, CA LMFT, Psychotherapist, Behavioral Health
Calif. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, MFC51746
Masters Level Registered Addiction Specialist (MRAS) & Level IV Certified Addiction Treatment Counselor (CATC IV), Masters Counseling Psychology
Addressing: Stress, Anxiety, Relationships, Depression, PTSD, Trauma, Pain, Memory Issues, Addiction, Adult Children of Alcoholics/Substance/Anger Abusers (ACA’s), Tech Execs & Engineers, Creatives & Designers – Private Online Therapy (Telemedicine) is available via HIPPA provider’s security.
Ph: 415.215.5363, e: sv@valentinotherapy.comweb: www.valentinotherapy.com
Social Media: Google My Business – Valentino Therapy
Pinterest: Ask This Therapist & Valentino Therapy
Instagram: Ask This Therapist & Sharon,Valentino.MFT
Facebook: Valentino Therapy, Parenting With Help, and Ask This Therapist
Blogs at WordPress: Valentino Therapy & Sober Coach-Addiction Hurts & Ask This Therapist
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Dealing With Staying Home – A Better Happier You Is Possible

person-writing-on-notebook-4145190

Dealing With Staying Home – A Better Happier You Is Possible

Sometimes we are ill and confined to home for a while or in the midst of a pandemic, and certain things that matter get pushed aside. I saw this quote today and wonder if it grabs your attention as it did mine?

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” -Goethe.

After all this COVID is over the only thing that will matter is how we treated one another.
And how we treat ourselves is critical and equally important.

Once things normalize, will we have complained each day, or will we be able to say that we accomplished something, didn’t use substances and avoided relapse? Will we be able to say that we lost weight, gained muscle tone, learned a language, picked up a new skill, took one of the many free online courses available right now, got closer to friends by checking on them, or read a couple of good books? What can we do to make ourselves proud when we emerge from this isolation?

A large network of friends, often called a social support network, or AA type fellowship, has long been a proven key to good mental health. And we all need it more now than ever. When we take the slightest chance to be thoughtful by telling someone we know that we’d like to know that they are OK, or mention something they did, or talent of theirs, or thing that they do which makes them special or stand out – or any excuse at all you make yourself a better, kinder, softer, more loving person it only attracts more love and kindness right back at you and into your life, – which is often called Karmic mirroring.

A wealth of research shows that when we “commit acts of kindness” for others, our brains release oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine – a powerful feel-good cocktail that boosts mood and counteracts the effect of cortisol which is the stress hormone.

Helping others has also been proven to be one of the very fastest and surest ways of increasing self-esteem. Since self-esteem can go up and down a bit throughout our lifetimes, it is smart to keep it high, healthy, and self-refilling all the time.

This pandemic gives us a chance to help ourselves by helping others – and that can be a be an important factor in avoiding relapse.
Who do you need to contact today, to check in with, to say hello to?

We are lucky to have so many free resources available right now. Most libraries have free current movies, audio, and Kindle books, and also Mango with multiple language courses. Yale University is offering has its famous, most popular course in history, “The Science of Well-Being”, often called their Happiness course. It’s free, no tests, no reading. Other Universities, including Stanford University, are offering courses also. Also, there are a lot of virtual museum tours online that are stunning.

Sharon Valentino, LMFT, Psychotherapist, Behavioral Health
Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.

Stay safe,
Sharon

Sharon Valentino, MA, ChT, CA LMFT, Psychotherapist, Behavioral Health
Calif. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, MFC51746
Masters Level Registered Addiction Specialist (MRAS) & Level IV Certified Addiction Treatment Counselor (CATC IV), Masters Counseling Psychology
Addressing: Stress, Anxiety, Relationships, Depression, PTSD, Trauma, Pain, Memory Issues, Addiction, Adult Children of Alcoholics/Substance/Anger Abusers (ACA’s), Tech Execs & Engineers, Creatives & Designers – Private Online Therapy (Telemedicine) is available via HIPPA provider’s security.
Ph: 415.215.5363, e: sv@valentinotherapy.comweb: www.valentinotherapy.com
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